Dad's Got a Friend

One of the hardest parts of having dad at Jamestown is the fact that in the Enhanced Care unit he does not get much social stimulation. There are lots of fun activities that keep him active and engaged, but unfortunately most of the other residents can not carry on a coherent conversation. The staff is very good about spending time with dad taking him along when they run errands and he has also been able to attend some of the activities at the activity center on the Assisted Living side, but unfortunately he doesn't usually remember.

When I went to pick him up for a visit last Saturday I noticed a man I'd never seen before and noticed he was having a conversation with one of the staff members. I asked dad if he had met him yet & he could not remember, but today as we walked through the lobby on our way out Mike (the new resident) stopped dad to shake his hand. While they were talking I asked the nurse (Summer) as she was opening the door for us if Mike was on the same level as dad & she said with a big grin, "Yes!" I guess that just after Mike moved in Summer had taken dad over to Mike's apartment to introduce them and now they spend a lot of time talking with one another.

Dad has never been a social butterfly by any means, but I know he has missed the opportunity to have a real conversation with the other residents. Yay for new neighbors & the chance for dad to have some more social stimulation!

What People Are Saying...

It's the beginning of a new semester at UVU, so we had a department faculty meeting Wednesday evening. After the meeting was over, one of the new adjunct instructors stopped me because he had a few "quick" questions. As I was answering his questions most of the other faculty members headed home, but there were a few stragglers that stayed to chat a bit and I couldn't help but catch bits and pieces of their conversations. Then as I was finished answering the questions, I overheard two of the other adjuncts discussing a "high maintenance" student and had to say, "I know who you're talking about!"

We all had a good laugh because I was right! Then as I was driving home & got to thinking about it...what do people say about me when I'm not around? How would it be to be such a negative influence on those around you, that people don't even need to use your name for others to know who is being talked about!

And not that I think that I'm all that & people are talking about me, but I've decided to try harder to be less critical & negative and instead be more friendly & positive. That way the next time I walk in a room & people quit talking, I won't need to worry that they were complaining about me!

I Love the Fourth of July!

Independence Day has always been one of my favorite holidays! The excitement of a nation coming together to celebrate...no matter what race or religion people belong to, they come together to honor this great country & the freedoms we enjoy. And no matter what city in the United States you find yourself in on July 4th you will most certainly find a parade, a county fair or carnival (maybe both) & fireworks.

Here in Provo it tends to start very early in the morning with Balloon Fest...it's always fun to watch the piles of nylon fabric fill up and turn into a beautiful magic giants then take off and dot the sky with a beautiful rainbow of colors.



The parade is another longstanding tradition that starts the evening before...people with blankets, sleeping bags, chairs, and umbrellas begin camping out all along the parade route. They even have it down to a science of where the best spot is along the route & which side of the street to be on. (On a side-note, one of my fondest memories from when Suzy & I were roommates here in Provo is of us driving down University Ave at 2:00 am with our car windows rolled down & yelling "wake up!" ...silly girls!)

And you have to stop by the Freedom Days County Fair to check out all the vendors, side shows & mini concerts...and then catch a few of the overpriced carnival rides.

But the best part of the day comes after dark...the fireworks! What an exciting way to end such an eventful day. I love it all...the loud pop of the cracker being lit, the beautiful colors painting the dark sky & the smell of sulfur in the air afterward. The perfect exclamation mark at the end of the celebration.


"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty." John F. Kennedy

Grandpa's One-liners...

I've got several friends with young children that are always posting the funny things their little ones say on their blogs, and I have often wished the boys were younger and giving me material for my blog. Now I have my father saying funny things almost daily, so I'm going to begin posting the things he says & calling them Grandpa's One-liners.

Here are a few samples:

About a week after he moved into Jamestown, he had been over for a visit & I was taking him back to his apartment. As we walked into the common area where a lot of the residents come to watch TV he said, "I don't like it here, I don't belong here." My response was "Dad, you're always telling me how much you like it here." He then waved his arm around the room & said "But look, they're all old."

Suzy & her family were flying into town Friday morning & were going to drive up to Idaho to visit a favorite uncle, dad's brother Skip. They decided it would be nice to take dad with them, so Friday morning I picked him up at 8:00 & took him to meet them. As we were walking toward the door I was a few steps ahead of dad, when a lady that lives there passed between us & dad kind of bumped into her a little. After bumping into her dad said, "Excuse me darling" to her, then to me he said, "She's one of my girlfriends. I like her best...she doesn't talk too much."

Then, tonight as I was taking him back over to Jamestown the radio was on a country station. Kenny Chesney was singing his song Down the Road, about a boy that wants to marry the girl "down the road." One of the lines is about how the girls father wants to know if the boys makes enough to take his daughter down the road. After that line dad said, "heck, how much money do you need to go down the road...that's dumb"

Keeping Promises...

In September of 2005 my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer & a month later got pneumonia, which sped the dying process, but was a much gentler death. As mom’s body was shutting down on her, we could tell she was fighting to hang on & felt that it was because she was worried about our father, who has dementia. Independently & unknown to each other, my sister Suzy & I each went in to let our mom know that she did not need to worry about our dad, because we would take care of him.

Suzy does not work outside of her home & had an extra bedroom, so the plan was for dad to live with Suzy & her family. Suzy & her family were wonderful! They welcomed dad into their home with open arms. Then about a year ago, Suzy began having health problems due to the stress of caring for dad, so he moved into my brother Norman’s home. When dad moved in with Norman & Toni we all knew it was going to be temporary, because as dad’s dementia progressed he would need more skilled care. We began gathering information on some facilities in California that were centrally located between Suzy & Norman, but none of them quite met dad’s needs.

Then one Sunday as Tanner was speaking in the Sacrament meeting of a retirement home in our ward boundaries it dawned on me…“dad should move to Utah.” It hit me that if dad were living here in Utah, he would be able to attend Sacrament meeting & the staff at the facility would be respectful of his religious beliefs & customs. I began checking into assisted living care facilities & found Courtyard at Jamestown. They have an Enhanced Care unit, which is a secure section for patients with memory loss. When Eli & I toured the facility, we knew it was perfect! It met all dad’s needs…they even have an outside courtyard where dad can pull weeds!

In April I flew down to San Diego on a Thursday & the next morning Suzy & I drove dad up to Utah with all his belongings. On Saturday we went to Jamestown to set up dad’s room with all his furniture & photos, so that Monday when he arrived it would all be familiar. As we were putting his stuff away I have to admit, there were moments of guilt…I had promised my mother that I would help to take care of dad! But now that dad has been at Jamestown for almost two full months, I no longer have guilt. Dad has thrived at Jamestown! They have daily activities such as cooking classes, music appreciation and exercises, as well as scenic bus rides three times a week. He even went to a petting zoo last week. He is also eating regularly & has even gained some weight back.

From the moment the idea came to me, I have felt it was the right move & as plans have just fallen into place for dad to be able come to Jamestown it has been reaffirmed to me that this is the right decision for dad. So I guess that sometimes keeping the promises we’ve made means doing things differently than we had planned.

Round-abouts...Wanna Love 'em, Gotta Hate 'em!

I have actually been formulating this post in my mind for quite a while now...and was re-inspired to finally get it written when my niece-in-law Hannah acknowledged her frustrations with them today on her Facebook status.

The city planners in Provo & Orem love their roundabouts! In the past five years most of the really busy 4-way stops in these two cities have been converted to round-abouts. The whole concept behind them is actually really good & they are very convenient...when used properly. That's the "gotta hate 'em" part of the equation...most drivers don't use them properly. On my daily commute, I have to drive through at least two round-abouts and depending on the route I take may need to use up to five...just to get to 8 miles from my house to UVU!

The whole concept of the round-about is to keep traffic moving, so there is nothing more frustrating then to be driving along, enjoying my morning ride & come up to an idiot driver stopped at a round-about waiting for all the cars to pass! It's not a four-way stop any more...the idea is to safely merge into the flow of traffic. The other side of the frustration is that there are those other idiot-drivers that insist on speeding up when they see someone approaching the round-about so that they won't have to let them in! UG! And I'm not so sure it's a "Utah driver" thing either...I've noticed that the round-abouts with the most problems are located in areas highly populated by BYU & UVU students driving cars from out of state & I've also been the passenger in a car driven by someone visiting from another state & had them ask me "what do I do?" when they get to the round-about.

I'm not quite sure what the solution is...it's kind of like the "carpool" lane, which is a whole other frustration! Some people get it & some people don't, & those of us that do will just have to continue to tolerate the idiot-drivers that will never get it!

Are You Twins...

My sister Suzy & I have always been very close...best friends in fact. Whenever we get together there is lots of laughter, joking & teasing. I think the fact that I am only 18 months older than her helped, but another big contributor to our close friendship was our mother making us play together when we were younger...because, "friends come & go, but you will always be sisters!"

As kids, then young adults & later as roommates when we would go places together it wasn't uncommon for strangers to ask us if we were twins...usually the reply was one of saying "yes" and the other saying "no" at the same time! I don't know how many people told me "Welcome home" when Suzy returned from her mission. Even now when either one of run into people that new us when we were younger, they will ask "Aren't you one of the Thomas girls?" because they don't know which one we are.

It's funny though, because when we were younger I didn't really see it...maybe because my hair was blond & hers was brunette. But I was noticing the other day as I was looking at photos, that we really do look quite a bit alike.